Spiritual Rewind
by KyooTea
Summary: Why, why were they back. Why were they gone. Why was I still here. Why?
1. Ghost?

"This one?"

Jesse showed me the Harvard booklet.

"I don't know."

"Maybe I should just go to NoCal."

"No."

It was now time for Jesse to choose what college he wanted to attend. He had gotten way high SAT scores, so he could choose any school in all of America. Yet, he wanted MY opinion. The girl who has no need for college. Thanks to this 'gift'. More like a curse, but without it I wouldn't have met Jesse. But anyway, NoCal wasn't good enough for him. Harvard was too far away. What's a girl to do?

"Yale seems nice."

"Yeah, nice."

"Querida, are you feeling okay?"

He slowly walked over and cupped my face in his strong, capable hands.

"Querida?"

"I'm fine, really. Just fine." I said that so calmly that I almost tricked myself. I said almost.

"I'm not stupid. You do not seem to be yourself."

He stared straight into my eyes, intending to read my thoughts. I hope he didn't see the tears in my eyes because he would tell Father D and Father D would tell my mom. The last thing I needed was my mom lecturing me about the fact that I'm "too young for boys". Father D would tell me that things wouldn't change. That was bull-ish.

I choked back the tears and braced myself.

"I'm fine."

That seemed to stop him.

Why couldn't I seem to trick myself?

The ride back was silent, I mean it. Dead silent. It wasn't until we pulled to the front of my house when he wanted to speak. I don't get it. Why couldn't we talk while I was driving. I suppose crashing the car mightn't be such a good idea. Because that's what I'd do. And then the car would be broken, just like our relationship. Well, it wasn't broken. Yet. So what if you call me cynical. I can't help it, it comes with the job.

"Querida, I know you say that you are okay. But you're not. What's wrong?"

I was about to tell him. Really, I was.

But then I saw, no I didn't. It wasn't possible.

Was it?


	2. Uninvited Guests

Yeah, I think it was.

But it happened so fast that I wasn't sure, but Jesse saw him as well. He was back.

But he wasn't glowing. My dad, I mean. My mind was going 100 miles an hour. I had no idea what was going on.

Then I blacked out...

"Querida? Querida? Querida?""

I could hear Jesse's voice thicken with panic every time he said querida.

I slowly opened my eyes and tried to sit up. I sat up way too fast. The room started to spin.

"Susie, are you okay?"

I heard my mom say frantically.

"I think she needs to go to the emergency room. Poor Susie. I think she's a bit stressed. Jesse, what do you think?"

I think it was her that was stressed, I mean, she was talking so fast. Now I know where I inherited it from.

"I think she just needs some rest."

Then the doorbell rang...

Andy ran to the door.

"Hello. And you are?"

"I'm here to see Susannah."

"Sorry, I'm afraid that she's not feeling herself right now-"

"-I know."

What does that guy know. That guy has no freakin idea what I put up with.

"-Yes, anyway. I'll tell her to call you when she's feeling better."

Now that I think about it, it was so obvious who that guy was. I knew his voice. Not Andy's. Well of course I knew Andy's voice. But I could easily recognize the voice, but I just couldn't match the voice to the face.

So I got up and walked-no, hobbled- over to the front door and I was then greeted by Mark Pulsford's handsome, yet extremely arrogant face.

I let out the most shrill scream in the history of my voice box.

All he had to say was, "Nice to see you too."

I heard the stair creak beneath weight. Only Dopey could make them creak that way.

"What is with all the freakin noise?"

Only he didn't say freakin, if you get my drift.

He continued to mutter obscene words under his breath, until he saw Mark. Then he juat stood there, looking dumbstruck with his mouth wide open.

I have no idea how I got through the next two days, but I had a feeling that Jesse helped me through them.

God, what would I do without him?

Little did I know that I was going to have to figure that out pretty soon.


	3. Gone

"Paul?"

"Suze?"

"Something fishy is going on!"

Funnily enough, we said it at the exact same time.

"Paul, what happened to your face?"

I grazed the back of my hand against the bruise that was covering his face. It was shaped like a boot.

It took him 3 seconds to flinch, which was a long time, believe me.

It seemed way weird, so I asked him again.

"Paul, what is wrong with your face?"

"Um, a disagreement with a client."

For the first time ever, I saw fear looking out of Paul's icy-blue eyes.

I opened my mouth to ask him again. Third times a charm. But I got interrupted by Sister Ernestine.

"Student Body Vice-President should not be dawdling in the hallways. Dawdling will result in a detentoin, Susannah. If you get detention you position can an will be revoked."

What do I say to that? I just smiled and walked off.

Paul was right beside me, but now he was gone. Poof, like magic.

The walk to World History took forever.

First I was stopped by Adam, then by CeeCee. After the long journey, I was confronted by a very distraught Kelly Prescott.

"Kelly, what's wrong?"

"Its Paul" answered Debbie.

"What did he do this time?"

Paul was well known for treating Kelly like dirt, whether it was standing her up or cheating on her.

Kelly didn't answer.

"What did he do?"

Kelly's voice trembled.

"He...He, died."

I didn't think that he could die. I mean, us mediators are pretty hard to get rid of. And Paul has the extra protection of being, well, Paul. But I just talked to him. I guess that I was talking to his ghost.

Why didn't he tell me?

Was it that he couldn't tell me?

If so, why?

"Jesse? Jesse!"

I was so sure that it was him, so I ran as fast as I could.

"Jesse, Hey." I huffed and puffed.

Was he avoiding me, I 'm sure he heard me. Come to think of it, I hadn't seen him since yesterday.

For a second I thought it wasn't him.

"Jesse, what happened to you?"

"Querida-"

I just cut him off.

"What happened?" I said in a very harsh tone.

I cupped his -for the first time ever- face in my hands, the way he usually does.

He had a bruise covering his face.

I freaked out when I realized that it was the same as Paul's.

"Jesse, are you dead?"

All I had to do was stare into his eyes, that was how I knew.

They were empty. And scared.

So I did what any girl would do:

I ran as fast as I could so he wouldn't see me cry.


	4. Saturated

The run home took forever, even though I was already half way there.

As soon as I got home everybody seemed to ask questions or give me their 2 cents.

Brad: "Suze, look, the guys dead. Stop making that face if you want a date for prom."

Doc: "Grieving has a few stages. They include anger and sadness, somehow, I know that your mainly going to stick with the anger."

Jake: "Dude, chill."

Mom: "Susie, go to bed, get some rest. Everything will be ok."

Andy: "Just relax. Which would you prefer, meatballs or casserole?"

Seriously, my family is clueless.

I can't believe he was dead...again.

I was alone. Alone for the rest of my life.

I was alone even when I went into my bedroom. I don't know what I expected. Jesse's days of haunting my bedroom are over.

I figured I was going to be truly alone for the rest of my life, so I shifted.

It was even more lonely there.

With nothing to distract me. All I had were my thoughts about Jesse.

I thought about how we were supposed to get married and have kids.

But that wasn't going to happen. And I hated the person who did this to him.

I felt rage enter me. I was so angry that I started to cry.

You know, you whole body is shaking and the only way to stop it is by giving into the tears.

Between sobs, I saw an old looking man limp towards the gatekeeper.

"Who are you? What the hell do you want?"

Poor guy, it wasn't his fault I was being a bitch.

"Susannah, we have a problem."

Father D. Dead? Father D was dead.

This couldn't be happening.

"Father D, what happened?"

He just cut me off, the exact same way Jesse did.

So I was pushy, I just kept on asking until he cracked, well, Father D doesn't exactly crack.

"Susannah, you must shift. The world you once knew is in mortal peril."

"But, Father D-"

"No buts Susannah. Things will be clear soon."

Man, he was dead. He had already mastered being mysterious.

They made no sense.

In fact, this whole mess made no sense.

"Father D, I'm sorry."

"For?"

"You know, um...Dying."

He just stared at me.

"What makes you think that it is your fault?"

Truth is: I didn't.

Until then.

I was exasperated and shocked to find out that I had started blaming myself.

I found myself lying in my bed, saturated.

But, it wasn't water.

It was blood.

And...

It wasn't mine.


End file.
